Where have I been? Not sure sometimes. Thing can move so fast with so many things pulling in different directions that you just feel tired at the end of the day. It’s not always physical time that is required but offer emotional time as well. Being a father and husband is truly my calling and I love every second of it but life can be a lot to take in when you are responsible for the hearts, minds and souls of your family. My desire is to love and care for them every day and through everything they go through. I often end up feeling like a failure as I see their hearts and minds hurting with the weight of this world. I want so badly to shield them from it but no matter how hard I try I typically fail. I fail to shield my kids from the basics of growing up. Of learning to deal with their own growth and how they relate to other kids, I fail to provide the strong Christian friendship I hope my children to have. I don’t want them to hurt ever, physically, mentally and spiritually. I want them to see God’s grace every day and rejoice in it. I want them to have solid relationships that never hurt them or fail them. I want them to never know a time apart from Christ.

For my wife, I want to love her perfectly. I want to comfort her when she is down or sad. I want to shield her from the pain this life brings. I want to shield her from deaths sting. I want to protect her from the evil in this world. I want so much but tend to fail most of the time.

I fail cause I’m not perfect, I fail cause I am a sinful human being who needs a saviour. I have no hope for myself apart from Christ and how can I ever expect to save my family under my own strength. I can try my hardest but only Christ can truly save them. Only the holy spirit can truly touch the hearts and minds of my beautiful family and comfort the hurt, comfort the pain and provide hope for them in Christ. I have to remind myself that I have my duties that I must perform for my family. But I must place them in God’s hands and know that only in him do we have hope. He is doing a work in their hearts for his glory and as much as I don’t understand it, it is part of his plan. I must love and be faithful to the work God has called me to do and be vigilant with those duties. But as much as I hurts to watch pain come upon my beautiful wife and children, only Christ can truly take away that pain.

I have to be faithful to love my family.

I have to be faithful to pray for my family.

I have to be faithful to lead my family spiritually.

To provide for them.

To protect them to the best of my human abilities.

I have to be faithful to give them to God knowing that he is their Father in heaven who loves them perfectly. Who cares for them perfectly. Who truly knows what is best for their hearts and minds and will achieve his will in their life’s regardless of me.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
When darkness hides His lovely face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
When He shall come with trumpet sound
Oh may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand